The Missing Piece

She thought that it was finished,
She thought it was complete,
But the piece that lay within her reach,
That was brand new,
Unknown,
A breech
Of all she had imagined true,
Was telling her of something new

She was surprised to find it,
She was amazed it fit,
But the puzzle changed before her eyes,
It altered all,
Transformed,
Despised
Those things she had imagined true,
And told her there was something new.

She knew she could not keep it,
She knew it was not hers,
But the absent piece she hadn’t missed,
Until he came,
Unsought,
Gifted
A glimpse of something pure and true,
And left her ever changed and new.

Suck it Up and Keep Moving

Since you’ve been gone, there have been some hard lessons to learn.

And one thing I have realised, is that the old adage about time healing wounds is a complete crock of crap. The more time that passes, the more that it hurts. Maybe it’s just me? I’ve always been out of step with the rest of society. So perhaps I’m the exception who proves the rule? Perhaps I live in some kind of parallel universe where the mirror image is true? Whatever. All I know is that each day gets harder, not easier.

There are so many things I want to tell you. So many things left to say. So many adventures left to share. Except no. Not any more. I’ve been cut adrift and the waters are growing increasingly choppy. It’s hard, lonely and scary out here.

Ironically, if I could talk to you, I know you would understand exactly what I am saying. Because you get me. Like no one else ever did. And no one else ever will.

Are you hurting too? It’s not that I want you to hurt – far from it. But I can’t bear that it’s only me who is in such great pain. Are you unhappy too? It’s not that I want you to be miserable – not at all. But it tortures me that this misery is all one sided. And I will never know those answers, will I. Which is part of what keeps me paralysed in this despair.

To be honest, I’m struggling to suck it up. And I haven’t got to the keep moving forward part. I don’t actually know how to do it. But I know I have to try.

I guess, as Merle Haggard sang:
‘I’ve got to keep goin’
Traveling down this lonesome road
And I’ll be rollin’ with the flow
Goin’ where the lonely go.’

Stay gold.

Message Memories

I used to rush each morning
Were there messages to see?
Had you had a thought-wave you were keen to share with me?
I used to hold my breath until the screen displayed your name
And smile a kilo wattage grin
When you wanted me the same

I used to check so often
Had you something else to say?
Was there music you had written before time got in the way?
I used to hope and cross my heart in superstitious lark
And have my heart leap in my chest
When you had left your mark

I used to wait each evening
Would you come and chat awhile?
To tell me of your day and ask what happened throughout mine?
I used to relish the pure joy of time spent with my friend
And never thought that one day
It would all come to an end

I’ll always long to see you
Will you have a change of heart?
Will everything we had convince you that we shouldn’t part?
I still search for the words to pop up on my mobile phone
Telling me you miss me
And no more I’ll be alone.