A Whole New World

Since you’ve been gone, my world has changed.

This morning, I left the house for work, and instead of turning right and heading for my car, I turned left and walked down the drive way and out onto the street. I then had a very pleasant 15 minute walk to work, enjoying the freshness of the new day. It felt so good not to have to plough my way through the commuter traffic. No more stopping/ starting/ queueing/ getting stuck behind trucks – and bonus points for actually doing something that’s not only a necessity, but good for me.

The day passed in a blur of meetings, introductions and logging into new systems. For the most part, it all went very smoothly, but having had a glimpse of what my job will be and the very alien management information software I will have to work with, I know that there are a great many challenges ahead. It would be wonderful to fast forward six months, to a time where I pretty much know who everyone is and have got my head around what I’m supposed to do. Having said that, I am very grateful to have moved on six months from where I was. You know that patience is not my greatest virtue, but I am thankful to be here and not there.

Today I felt welcomed and wanted. One of the governors came into the office and introduced herself to one of my new colleagues and me. When she heard my name, she said, ‘Ah! We’ve been waiting for you!’, and went on to list several meetings that had taken place over the summer where my name was mentioned with eager anticipation. I only hope I can live up to the image they have already painted of me. We both know I’m more prone to disappointing people than getting things right.

All things considered, it wasn’t a bad day. A few more like this and I might start to feel human again.

Stay gold.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

When I first decided to start my own blog, I was more excited than I had been in a long time about anything, and I was dreaming big. I wanted to write about ideas, music, people, places … anything! Anything that grabbed my attention. I thought it would be cool to be able to share my perspective on the world with someone other than my long-suffering cat, and to give others a glimpse of what it’s like to see life through Kat’s eyes.

I love talking. Proper talking. The kind of talking that goes on late into the night and digs deeper than the obvious, asking all the probing questions. (Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Why does a brown cow have white milk when it’s always eating green grass?!)

I also love writing. As the years have rolled by, more and more often my writing seems to have been limited to proof reading and typing other people’s words. Not that I have any objection to making a living, but that’s not as fun as it sounds. (And there are no prizes for guessing how much fun it actually is!)

So blogging. That’s just combining the two, isn’t it? With the added attraction of making it look pretty with pictures and maybe throwing in some links to audio-visual treats. What could be better?

But after navigating my way through the sign up and set up process, I have finally sat down to a blank page and an even emptier mind, and I am suddenly doubting myself.

What if I have nothing to say?

What if nobody reads it?

What if nobody likes it?

Then I realised, there are always a million reasons to doubt yourself. A thousand excuses why it’s not worth bothering to try something new. Countless other more important things on which to spend your time. And sometimes, you only have one opportunity to prove yourself wrong.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? For me, it was today. Not only that, I’m still in the process of doing it. If I’m honest, I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, how it’s all going to pan out, or where it will end up taking me. I’m still familiarising myself with this site and how everything works. At the present moment, I actually have no idea how to add those interesting pictures and links I referred to back there.  Please bear with me, while I bear with myself!  I can’t let the not knowing stop me.  We all have to start somewhere, sometime.  Well I am here, and my time is now.